We’ve added a new clause to our contract. It states, in so many words, that friends or non professional vendors are solely responsible for performing their duties. We found ourselves suddenly playing music, or telling the client we didn’t have time to perform other tasks like florals or other elements of the wedding that their friend-vendor could no longer perform, at the last minute. We also have a hard time sometimes getting a hold of “friendors” or non-pro vendors. Sometimes it works out wonderfully well – we’ve worked with DJs who are pals of the B+G and are clearly professional; or phenomenal photographers who are pals but go by the book from start to finish; but we had enough cases of things going sideways that we added this clause to generate a productive dialogue about it with the client.
What usually happens is the friend sits with the guests and misses important cues or photos, and is very difficult for us and, thus, the client, to communicate with leading up to the big day. Sometimes the vendor doesn’t even get a hold of the client till just before the wedding, causing undue stress that just isn’t worth the savings of money.
This cake was baked and decorated by the groom. BUT, he was a former pastry chef, cooked the layers ahead of time, and iced it early in the morning! Photo by Julie Wilson Photography.
HIRING A FRIENDOR – Making the decision:
1. At your consultation, let them talk. If they talk shop the right way, you’re in good shape. For example, if the pal wants to DJ, do they ask the following? “What type of dances do you want to do? Do you want it to be more clubby, or top 40? Do you have a lot of older guests? Is there a noise ordinance? Do you need additional sound equipment for the ceremony?” A photographer should ask about your basic timeline, if you want a “first look,” when the last event of the night takes place, and other logistical questions. If the vendor just talks about style and having fun, they aren’t familiar with the intensity of working under a tight timeframe and that may mean running late on your schedule, missing out on key photos, and other negative consequences.
2. Sign a contract and pay them a fee, no matter how nominal, so they are committed to that date. We’ve had friendors abandon their duties when they get a paying gig. Like two weeks before the wedding. Sign a contract and make sure money changes hands.
3. The exception to this- regarding money – is when a friend serves as an officiant, which tends to be a sweet sentimental service without much time and labor, mostly an emotional commitment. But they must call the county clerk’s office and be aware of how to process the license. I’ve had two (2!) officiants now who didn’t arrange to have witnesses sign till I reminded them. There could be serious consequences if that didn’t happen that very night of the marriage.
Friends of the bride and groom, Ken Jones and Danny Jones, shot video and photos all day at the clients' Horizon Hotel Palm Springs wedding. This shot capped off a festive evening.
Overall, it’s great to feel a sense of community amongst your vendors, but even better when you know professional-minded vendors are working your special day.