Let It Go: Learning to Relax and Love Your Wedding Day

Every once in a great while, we have a client who appears to have a hard time sitting back and letting the wedding day flow.  They (or a family member) also try to take control of the timeline or do things on their own that throw off the day because they make us go off-schedule.  We’ve managed to quell any major worries and remind these clients to just sit back and let us do our job.  We do what we can to make things run on time and are very successful at this. I hate to think of those that could ruin their experience of the day by not sinking into the joy and heart of the day, and letting little things (that no one can control) drive them crazy.

An unplanned moment - beautiful bride, city sidewalk.  Photo by Don't Smile Now/ Shani Barel.

An unplanned moment – beautiful bride, city sidewalk. Photo by Don’t Smile Now/ Shani Barel.

At the risk of playing armchair therapist, here are some tips to fully enjoying your big day:

1. Hire a coordinator.  Duh.

2. Trust the (well qualified, well-vetted) coordinator.  Clients do not always know the multiple questions, issues, and hiccups we deal with during the wedding day and rest assured, there is always something. If your day goes south, OUR day – and our business’s reputation – goes south, too, so trust us, we’ll fix it usually before you even know about it.  Go and enjoy yourself and let us be the wizard behind the curtain that makes it all happen smoothly. We’ll adjust the timeline or flow of the day when something does happen that is completely out of our control (such as when the ceremony starts 3 minutes later than planned because your friend who is officiating decides RIGHT BEFORE WE START THE CEREMONY to take a leak.  !)

3.  Guess what – this is just the beginning.  Some of our clients already have kids, but if you are childless and just embarking on marriage, get ready: Every day for the rest of your life is going to be an adventure, especially if kids are on the radar. When you have kids, control goes out the window.  Let your wedding day be that first taste of living for the moment, accepting what you cannot change (those peonies you wanted were in bad shape from the grower, and didn’t end up in the centerpieces –  or, Cousin Jimmy’s toast was a little, shall we say, off-color…) and enjoying the hell out of everything else.  It’s life, in all its amazing, wondrous imperfection.  Remember every detail – set aside a moment now and then to take it all in, even if it means watching Aunt Louise get down to that Notorious B.I.G. song.

One of the most heartfelt moments of the night:  Toasts.  No one is alike another. It's one of our favorite moments to witness. Photo by Don't Smile Now Photography / Shani Barel.

One of the most heartfelt moments of the night: Toasts. No one is alike another. It’s one of our favorite moments to witness. Photo by Don’t Smile Now Photography / Shani Barel.

 4.  Don’t take it all so seriously.  Okay, we take your wedding VERY seriously. There is a lot of emotion, a lot of money (let’s be real about that), and we want you to get a big return on your investment emotionally and yes, financially; it’s a lot of pressure in that regard.  And that is valid, and a few sleepless nights are certain.  But turn on the news, and remember the distress in the rest of the world, and what wonderful, ‘first world problems’ they are, these little stresses and concerns about your wedding.

5.  Value the experience.  Again, on the money tip: What you are buying are not just flowers, or photos, or time in a grand ballroom – but an experience, that cannot be replicated.  This assortment of people, at this very time, will never happen again.  We’ve overseen weddings where guests have flown from Australia, Singapore, you name it- it’s the one in a million experience of seeing your favorite people in one room that makes this worth the stress and the money.  These days, it’s rare for families to get together on a regular basis – families are spread all over the country, even the world, due to work obligations and other considerations.  It’s so special to have them all together in one room. Forget your worries and focus your attention on savoring time with them at your wedding.

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These tips and observations come from running over 100+ events; 200+ if you consider the entire No Worries Team that is at your service – and remember, there are no tests to pass, certificates to earn, or any other requirements that planners and coordinators have to meet in order to open their business.  Getting a DBA, business liability insurance, and a business license are all you need – and these are easy to get, so be very careful when hiring a coordinator.  If you truly want to sit back and relax, get a good, well recommended professional.  Venues, other vendors, and picky brides are great sources for referrals to a qualified coordinator.