Those in the wedding and events industry eagerly await the holidays, not just because the festivities are part of the job, but because Christmas and New Year’s mean a lot of dropped knees, solitaire rings, and tearful “yes”-es. And then, we enter the picture, planners, DJs, caterers alike, ready to guide the newly betrothed couple down the lane of wedding planning.
I was thinking recently about the best proposal advice, and I’ve realized that a fantastic way to knock her socks off – besides the ring – is also gently take the reins in the planning process. Not too much, mind you – ladies love to spearhead the event planning and design – but present her with great ways to to get things off to a good start. This shows her how invested you are in the event and how excited you are for the big day, as opposed to washing your hands of the rest of the proceedings. Some men get really involved, some take a back seat – no matter what your perspective, at least showing her you’d like to help her get a running start is a lovely gift in and of itself.
Get ready for your engagement session...this beautiful shot is by Jeromy Robert Photography.
First, though, you gotta pop the ring. A few ideas:
BEFORE:
1. The Ring: Obviously the diamond is priority #1, but bear in mind that women are now switching rings to match their jewelry. Ok, full disclosure: really just myself and Jennifer Lopez are (or did). So, that’s at least two of us. And frankly I think it’s a trend that’s increasing. I love white gold, so my ring is exactly that (with a sapphire and two diamonds – nice work, hubs!). I also love antique gold, and realized the ring totally clashed with my gold earrings. My amazing hubs bought me a simple thin gold band – not too flashy – with diamonds, that’s stackable. This allows me to wear my gold pieces and also has lots of sentimental value. He can also buy more rings to stack with it to commemorate anniversaries.
If you have the budget, purchase another ring in a different metal to give her options in a different metal. I like the band style because you can also wear it with your wedding ring; without a raised gem, it doesn’t invade the rest of her accessories and allows the wedding band to blend in. Rose gold is on the rise and reasonable as well.
Photo by Shani Barel Photography / Dontsmilenow.com
2. The Place: Is she shy or private? Perhaps best to avoid the surprise engagement in front of everyone (though I cry every time I watch Ultimate Proposal). For easygoing ladies, a small family party can be sweet. A trip away for the weekend can be lovely, as well as an intimate dinner at a fancy-schmancy restaurant. Some of the coolest proposal stories I’ve heard, though, are in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner, over pizza and Sunday football, really anywhere. The surprise and joy is almost more intense when it really isn’t expected.
3. The Expert: Wedding planners and consultants like myself also help with proposals. We can vet the ring (ensure size and style are kosher, coordinate insurance, etc), make reservations, and make sure that the restaurant or venue is attuned to your very special night and needs. Feel free to shoot us a question anytime – we’re full of hints and tips!
AFTER:
1. Wedding Planning 101: After the afterglow has turned into the thrill of realizing a wedding is in the making, show her that you’ve done your homework. You don’t want to hijack the planning, but telling your fiance you’ve booked a consultation with a wedding planner or consultant is such a great way to say you’ve got her back. Most planners like myself offer complimentary consultations and are happy to meet just about anytime, anywhere.
2. Budget: It’s also thoughtful to ease budget stress immediately by letting her know you’ve chatted with your families (assuming you’ve asked Big Daddy for her hand in marriage, yes?) and had a delicate and polite chat with all parties about budget. It’s so stressful working with large dollar amounts, and heading into the planning process with certain expectations makes everything easier.
3. Get ready! Buckle up – you’re in for a fun, crazy, and sometimes nutty ride! But remember, this is your time to see how you work together on a major project, and it’ll strengthen your relationship even more. Gearing up for the big day is an experience like no other.
Have any ideas you want to bounce off a pro? Need recommendations for the most romantic restos in L.A.? Let us know and we’ll give your proposal prep a boost. If there’s anything we’re proponents of, it’s l‘amour. Good luck!