Category Archives: Self Care
I used to be a full time business owner, and there was always something to do: A timeline to build, a blog post to write, a mixer to attend. Even when I had organized the business to guarantee a neatly contained workday nearly every day, I’d find myself at 9pm at night, say, going online and doing some marketing research, or updating my bookkeeping. I was very efficient with my main work at hand (event planning), so when I had leftover time, I felt like I should be doing something more. And certainly, there was always something useful I could be doing, even if it wasn’t totally necessary. But what I should have been doing was telling myself to slow down. Take some time for myself, my friends, my family.
I wound down my business 3 years ago to work in the hospitality industry, but even then, I was consulting on the side on a freelance basis, and working on a project (virtual Wedding Planner Support Groups – to come in late Summer 2019), and this, that and the other. Then, a few weeks ago, something changed.
I’d leave my job, come home, tidy the house, make dinner, check in on some family, work out…and just have a nice evening of normal around-the-house activities. I had finished up a couple consultation projects; the Wedding Planner Support Groups were steadily coming together; and I just decided to have one job for a few weeks. And it was awesome. I realized, I didn’t have to take over the world every night after work – I didn’t have to do MORE to be a BETTER consultant or hospitality professional. I could slow down a little; I could have a nice normal life with ONE job and the occasional, well timed and somewhat automated side project. The pressure to be all things, to have my fingers in every pie, fell away. As my business consultant once told me when I went on a downward spiral about all I was trying to accomplish: Give yourself a f*&king break.
And I’ve never been happier.
A few things that happened because of my return to normal-hood:
- I’m sleeping better. Fewer things are swimming in my head when my head hits the pillow every night.
- I’m highly focused. Multitasking isn’t always the ideal – you can’t multi-task every single moment of the day. You risk doing a half-assed job on everything versus giving 110% to every task.
- I’m healthier. I started working out almost every single night (Beachbody on Demand to the rescue!). I’ve regained muscle I haven’t seen in years, it’s also added to my sleep, and my stress levels have plummeted since I have increased my cardio activity.
- I’m closer to friends and family. I have more time to reach out, send that checking-in text, grab coffee on the weekends. Socializing has legitimate long-term, crucial health benefits, along with the short-term bump you feel in overall mood.
Life is precious, and every second counts. No one is going to give you a medal if you add one more thing to your to-do list to prove your productivity. Give yourself a break; slow down the pace of the voices in your head demanding you do more, more, more; give yourself boundaries, and take time to refill your well of energy, every single day.
From Dee: For you engaged couples out there, you’re counting down the days to your wedding day. For you business owners, it’s already the end of Q1. Either way, time is flying! Those New Years resolutions might already be fading – maybe your resolution to work out 5 days a week shrank to 3, or your goal to hire an assistant by February has been pushed off indefinitely. Regardless of your situation, I’ve become a big fan of hers because they’re all about promoting health and wellness in women, by not just providing carefully formulated products, but making it easy to source them. Check them out and read on for concrete advice to get your resolutions back on track.
Set Realistic Goals
Although it is okay to set high expectations for yourself, be careful not to aim too high or attempt to reach unrealistic objectives in the short-term. Don’t attempt to lose too much weight all at once, or expect your salary to double overnight. It takes time and a lot of effort to better yourself, so don’t fear the process and instead look forward to the finish line. Set clear and concise short-term goals that will eventually allow you to meet a long-term objective.
Write It Down
Once you’ve decided on a short-term and/or long-term goal, make sure to write it down. Putting your objective on paper will help you better plan how you will reach it. You can break it down into manageable objectives or smaller accomplishments. Reaching each of these will give you a sense of pride in yourself and keep you on track. It could be as simple as saving money each week, or only eating 3 healthy meals every day. Prep by making an outline of how you will make this happen and what you can do to better yourself every day.
Set a Time-Frame
One of the keys to keeping you motivated to reach your goals is setting a reasonable time-frame. Sometimes that can mean a few weeks, months, or even the whole year, depending on what your goal is. Many will even set 10-year goals for themselves, with the hope to reach a certain financial or another life goal. Maybe you want to own a home by the time you’re 30, or want a new car. Saving takes time so plan for these goals to be accomplished over time. Adding tasks and major milestones to your phone calendar can help you keep track, as well as keep on task.
Although you may have your mind set on reaching your desired goals, it can be hard to actually follow through. For those who plan their days by the hour and are self-sufficient, it can be easy to accomplish a lot during the day. But for those whose schedules may vary greatly throughout the week or month, finding time for your personal objectives is difficult. This can especially occur with those looking to start working out to stay fit. Finding reasons to not go to the gym can be easier than carving out an hour to exercise. The key is to create a workout regimen — there are several great gym routine resources online that can help with this. Getting a planner or scheduling each activity during your week will make the process much easier, no matter your end goal.
Don’t Be Afraid to Seek Support
There will be many times that you will temporarily lose track of your goals or believe you can’t reach the objective you’ve set. For this reason, make sure you have a solid support system around you consisting of family and friends that will keep you going. Pick those who you can trust and have a positive attitude. When times get tough, don’t be afraid to turn to them for motivation. During the hard times, it’s good to know there are people who are there for you.
Never Give Up
Keep in mind that there will be times where you neglect your goals, or want to give up completely. Don’t let that discourage you, and if you keep on track even with the occasional slip-up, you will reach your objectives. It may be something as simple as trying to improve the quality of your skin, or stop excess spending on non-essentials. Even if you aren’t seeing immediate results, don’t give up! You have to stay motivated and know that with time, you will see progress. Never doubt yourself and stay positive, that’s the best way to overcome adversity and accomplish anything!